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Keep the Change

Written By: David Snyder on Wednesday, July 25, 2007

A Few Tips on Tipping

When I was growing up and long before it was common, our family needed two incomes to make ends meet. So my mother waited tables and tended bar at various dives in town. The jobs were hard and the hours were long. I spent many afternoons hanging out with her in these bars and restaurants helping her prep for service.

Back then in our blue collar town, people didn�t always leave a tip for the wait staff. The mentality was that you tipped only for exceptional service, and even then you never tipped all that much. My mother always delivered exceptional service. She had people skills that would put most politicians to shame. She was charismatic and had a knack for turning a rowdy table into her new best friends. Those skills came in handy; we needed the tips, even as small as they were.

One day, though, after one of her four-tops left, she could not find the tip, which was strange but not unheard of. As she was clearing the table, she finally found it under one of the customer�s plates: it was a single penny. That�s all. The gesture was more insulting than if no tip had been left at all. And it broke her heart.

Not to sound like Mr. White from Reservoir Dogs, but the wait staff counts on tips to live. And in our society, tipping is not discretionary. It�s mandatory. It�s part of the experience of dining out. For those of you who may be a little rusty on the rules, here are a few basic tips on tipping: 18% is the new 15%. It used to be that 15% was the minimum tip you were expected to leave after a meal. Now the minimum is 18%. Get over it.

And don't punish bad service through the tip. We've all had service that fell short of expectations at a restaurant at some point. And yes, it's instinctive to want to punish poor service by stiffing the wait staff on the tip, leaving less than the expected minimum. Stop doing that; it's childish and cowardly. If you have a problem with the service, handle it like an adult by speaking to the wait staff or the manager.

Finally, watch for "autograts." It�s not uncommon for a restaurant to automatically charge a gratuity, or autograt as it is sometimes called, for large parties. However, some restaurants, such as Per Se in New York, have started automatically charging a 20% gratuity on every table. While this practice is uncommon, you should be aware of it. First, review the menu carefully for disclosures about the restaurant's tipping policy. Second, inspect the check to determine whether the restaurant charged you an autograt to avoid double tipping. Then there's the question of tipping sommeliers. The rules for whether and how much you should tip a sommelier are not as formalized as those for the wait staff. Nevertheless, you should tip your sommelier. A sommelier is providing a valuable service to you by pairing wine with food and tasting the wine to determine whether it�s corked. If you take advantage of that service, you should pay for it.

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